You May Not Recognize Me

I am becoming more than me, so you may not recognize me.  I don't even recognize myself.  Because what you see is what you get - what you perceive.  But what you see is also what I give you.  I agree to show you the "me" I have finely crafted to show you.  It's my own work of art - the one I sell at the show.  There's some works of art that I deemed not good enough to bring out to the show for sale or display.  They had a flub, a flaw, a fuck up, a failing, something that wasn't quite good enough - something I thought you would judge as being not quite good enough.  Something you thought was untalented, ugly, mean, rude, selfish, boring, tedious, weak, forgettable, unlikeable and unlovable.  So those pieces of art are in storage.  There's a thought that if my presentable art is loved and made famous, then perhaps one day I'll bring out the unpresentable... when I can look in the mirror and see I've created infallible armor of respect and admiration from lots of people... or posthumously, when I surely won't care what you think of me and my art.

But I want to break free of that, so I chose to become more than me.  I chose Awarenes of the here and now over the tyranny of insecure overanaylsis.  I chose to see, than to simply believe - to know than simply understand. This is the beginning and the end. The all or nothing.