The Oracle

Let's go and be all that we can be. We'll rise together in a perfect harmony of reason and wisdom, of lust and love, pain and pleasure.  That's where I'll find you and where you'll find me.  That's where all this begins - the impetus to action - from the not want and the must have... from the love-hate of it all.  There is a golden ticket in my candy bar AND I'm going to see the wizard.  On top of it, I went to the oracle and she told me that I'm an oracle and could make up my own destiny.  So I shall - beginning with the energetic signatures, which lead to the mental impressions, which bestow a unique feeling - all combine with other choice ingredients which make my body move towards my instinctual goal.  Like a fish swimming upstream, it's of no surprise that this is what I find at the start line.  I could have cancelled every plan - just one plan, really; and I did look into it.  Luckily for me, the ticket to heaven is non-refundable, non-transferable and non-changable.  I'm already booked for this trip and there's no backing out, only going IN - moving forward - into the great unknown.  My home.

The Will of Passion

Within the human confines of need, want and instinct - passion is born.  Passion and Desire are closely linked.  Desire is the what the mind objectifies as obtainable.  Passion is the emotive drive to obtain it.  Combined, they manifest what is needed, wanted or instinctually sought.  Even those with austere minds - those who live in the land of dry, papery logic and data have passion.  Theirs is a desire of the mind - a desire to acquire knowledge; the feeling of excitement they get upon buying a new book, or sharing with colleagues their newest mental pathway to understanding whatever it is they are trying to understand.

Those who are in the expressive arts are always classified as having passion, of course, because passion is expressive and most people expect expression to be emotive and creative.  But, just as the colleagues fiercely debate their newest idea, the artist fearlessly displays their unique viewpoint to the world as a song, a painting, a poem.

Whatever we passionately desire will come to pass sooner or later.  With awareness, it comes sooner.  With unawareness, it comes later.  Stay aware of what you passionately desire. Passionately desire with awareness. But above all else, desire the biggest, most amazing, unattainable object.  See it as a lifelong goal, and keep it within the headlight beams of your mind.  

The passion to succeed should go beyond the goals set in school, work, sport or relationship. It should go beyond everything objectifiable because with every object attained, the will creates another desire and the passionate drive to attain it - something else to strive for.  So, there is only one true desire - only one true passion.  It is filtered through a unique interpreter - a specialized manifesting machine.  Learn the machine - learn its inner workings, its clogs and wheels, its cracked gaskets and dripping pipes - its radiant battery and  state-of-the-art computer.  This is God's Machine - your ego is the caretaker, but not the owner. In most people, the ego likes to take ownership of the whole machine because, by gosh, he does all the work around here.  Your persona is the personality of the caretaker.  Is he a mean old man that resents his job and doesn't like visitors?  Or perhaps she's quiet young lady who learned the trade from her grandpa and welcomes you in for a cup of tea?   

I've decided that I'm going to break into the inner sanctum of the steam room and repair the machine - - learn it from scratch.  Learn the things the caretaker does't even know about.  Eventually I will know the workings of the machine better than the caretaker herself, and will transcend the need for her direct intervention.  You see, the caretaker is just worried she's going to lose her job - so I'll send her songs and papers, poems and notes, flowers and food, to make her see that I appreciate her, so that she can still maintain as she does - but only in humble service - not righteous indignation.  The first note I sent to her said: "You are not me, and I am not you.  Just know that I need you, but your job duties will be lightened so that I can learn the machine I've invested my whole life savings into.  Don't take it personally - take it transpersonally.  Love you, Love me."

You May Not Recognize Me

I am becoming more than me, so you may not recognize me.  I don't even recognize myself.  Because what you see is what you get - what you perceive.  But what you see is also what I give you.  I agree to show you the "me" I have finely crafted to show you.  It's my own work of art - the one I sell at the show.  There's some works of art that I deemed not good enough to bring out to the show for sale or display.  They had a flub, a flaw, a fuck up, a failing, something that wasn't quite good enough - something I thought you would judge as being not quite good enough.  Something you thought was untalented, ugly, mean, rude, selfish, boring, tedious, weak, forgettable, unlikeable and unlovable.  So those pieces of art are in storage.  There's a thought that if my presentable art is loved and made famous, then perhaps one day I'll bring out the unpresentable... when I can look in the mirror and see I've created infallible armor of respect and admiration from lots of people... or posthumously, when I surely won't care what you think of me and my art.

But I want to break free of that, so I chose to become more than me.  I chose Awarenes of the here and now over the tyranny of insecure overanaylsis.  I chose to see, than to simply believe - to know than simply understand. This is the beginning and the end. The all or nothing.